Today marks 4 years since my dad died. It was a sad, hard day. I'm so grateful that dad is no longer in pain, but I still miss him. My dad was the king of dry wit. He was funny, but in a really off-beat way. I miss that. I miss talking to him; he was my biggest supporter. I miss his voice, hearing him call me sweetheart. I miss his smell...he always smelled so fresh and soap-clean. I mostly miss the relationship he had with Brooke. He played such an intrigal role in my child's life and at times, she doesn't know what to do without him. While I hate that so much of his life was spent disabled, I am thankful for the time it allowed him to be with his family. Sometimes the hardships in life change us in ways we can never imagine. Dad was Brooke and Briana's best friend.
The last 5 days with Brooke have been hard. She is sick and and has been a real booger-bear at times. Something occurred to me today...she knows it is the time of year when her granddad died. How does she know? She can't read a calendar. I haven't talked about it in front of her. And...oddly enough, she hasn't seen me cry. So how does she know September 14th? Isn't that amazing! It certainly explains her outbursts lately! I can't imagine feeling pain or confusion or grief and not being able to express your feelings. Friday, she grabbed her pillow that has a pillow case with a picture of granddad and her and cried. She kept pointing up to heaven. This morning I had to come home from work for a while...the sitter called because Brooke was screaming and crying. She wanted her mommie at home, she doesn't feel good, and she pointed to heaven and asked for granddad again. Broke my heart. My dad left a huge void in Brooke's life. Her was her bestie!
Life is so uncertain...please enjoy time with family and friends and thank God every day for those you love. Rest in peace dad!
No comments:
Post a Comment